My Journey of Becoming a Healer

My spiritual journey began when I moved to Kansas City, at 15 years old, to live with my aunt and uncle. Until that time, I grew up in Georgia where I was surrounded by conservative values and organized religion. As a child I remember going to church and feeling like the things I heard and were taught did not make sense. The contradictions that I would see and hear were so obvious to me and I was confused when they did not seem clear to others.

I can remember as early as five years old thinking about the mysteries of the Universe with questions often consuming my mind. I pondered things like: “What is my purpose in this life?” “Where did I come from?” and “What happens when we die?” I never felt like I found the answers to these questions in church in a way that truly resonated with me. Over time, those questions turned to skepticism fueling my desire to know even more.

Pairing the religious confusion with the pain of the trauma I experienced in my first 15 years of life often felt like too much to handle. I secretly dreamed of all the different ways I could escape or be rescued by anyone who could give me a better life. This led to a lot of disassociation and living outside of my body.

I was a child of abandonment with an abusive father and a mother who was not around. My father was my first bully. He would often yell at me to straighten my wrists, or quit crying and be a man. He never seemed willing to accept that I was a sensitive child with a tender heart. He was aggressive and violent which caused a lot of anxiety for me as a child. I constantly felt like something was wrong with me. I was drowning in shame with no clear end in sight.

On top of all that, growing up gay in the south in the 90s was not safe. I was often bullied for being gay and too effeminate. Other kids were calling me gay, fag, queer and girl as early as primary school. The bullying, mixed with growing up in a religion that told me I was going to hell for being gay, added so much more pain on top of the confusion and abandonment that I already felt consumed by.

When I was 12, my grandmother took my parents to court to get custody of my siblings and I. From ages 12-15, we lived full time with her. Although she was a very religious woman, my grandmother, or Ninny as we called her, was my safe space. She tried her best to make things better for us, working harder than any grandparent should have to. I truly believe that her willingness to do this moved my soul into a new direction, one where healing was possible.

I was 14 when I started coming out and confirming the suspicions everyone had always held about my sexuality. This made me even more of a target at school for my bullies. A few months after turning 15, I knew it was time for me to come out to my grandmother. I was terrified to tell her that I was gay because I feared that she would not accept me. Her religion told her I was a sinner and was going to hell. Knowing that she had a couple of gay friends gave me hope that maybe she would not think that was what my future held.

After summoning the courage, I wrote her a letter to tell her that I was gay. It did not go well. She cried and told me that I knew what the bible said and that I would go to hell if I was gay. Her reaction was devastating. It was not an option to lose her Love or her presence in my life. Thankfully, with time she came around. Her greatest gift to me was her unconditional Love. 

A few months after coming out to her, my grandmother came to me and asked, if my aunt and uncle were okay with it, would I be interested in moving to Kansas City to live with them. For me, it was an immediate yes! I could tell my grandmother was devastated at the thought of me not being with her anymore, but she always knew that I would be safer and better off living in a bigger city than staying in a tiny southern town in Georgia. My aunt and uncle were always the more progressive ones in the family and I knew I would be safe to be me.

Thankfully, my aunt and uncle were willing to take on a 15 year old while they were in their early 30s. They were both spiritual people but in a non-religious way. They were part of the Spiritualist, Metaphysical, New-Age communities in Kansas City. Many of their friends were healers, psychics and mediums. They even went to a spiritualist church on Sunday mornings. I was immediately immersed in this new world that I barely knew existed. I finally felt more myself than ever before.

Because I had always pondered the mysteries of the Universe, I was curious and wanted to tag along and learn more. In the experiences I had with them, I often felt like I was finding the answers to my questions. I was learning a language to describe the mysteries of life in a way that made sense to me. Even at 15, I took this very seriously and continued to explore and learn as much as I could about the spiritual and metaphysical world.

I started seeing psychics and healers on my own. Throughout ages 15 - 20, every psychic and healer I saw told me I was in this life to be a healer. At that time, it was hard for me to accept this as true. Honestly, at 15, before any healing of my trauma had happened, I had no idea how someone like me could ever be a healer and help others.

During this time, I was doing my own exploring of my spiritual path, learning more about myself and working on my own healing. The more I focused on my own healing and addressing my pain and trauma, the more I started to see myself differently. Eventually, I was able to see for myself that I AM a healer.

At the end of 2007, I was at community college studying fashion design with one more semester left before graduating, even though I did not care about fashion at all. It was something I was talked into due to my experience in retail management. While I had been working on my own healing, I still had not actualized that I could make a living being a healer. 

Over that winter break, I watched the movie “Into The Wild.” It was the catalyst for me to ask myself, “What the hell am I doing with my life?” I got real with myself about not wanting to do anything with fashion. I knew I wanted to quit school even though I only had one semester left. It did not make sense to me to spend any more time or money on something I had no desire to pursue.

I am not an impulsive person, so I decided to go back the first day of my last semester and see how I felt about it after being back there. My feelings were confirmed and I was sure that fashion was not the path for me, although at that time, I did not know what the correct path was for me.

Later that day when I got home from classes, my aunt was there. When I walked through the door, she immediately asked me what was wrong. It was always impossible to hide anything from her. I sat down and shared how I was feeling while she held space for me.

After I stopped talking, she just looked at me and asked me what I wanted to do? I told her I did not want to go back to school and then she said, “Well, then don’t.” So I dropped all of my classes at that moment and withdrew from school. Then she asked me what I wanted to do now? I did not know, but in the spirit of the movie, “Into The Wild,” I told her I would just drive around the country, live out of my car and try to find myself.

She looked at me, trying to be supportive and encouraging, while also being realistic. So she asked me, “If you lived in a world where you didn’t have to worry about a job or making money and everyone could just do what they wanted and things worked out, what would you do?” Without even thinking about it, I instantly responded, “I would teach people about spiritual things and help them figure out who they are.” That was not even something I realized was in me until she asked that question and pulled that clarity into my conscious awareness. After I answered her question, she looked at me and in the most matter-of-fact tone and said, “Well, then go do that.”

With that encouragement, my whole body had chills and I found myself believing that it was possible. At that moment, I realized all those years of psychics and healers telling me that I was a healer were planting the seeds and preparing me for this moment.

I had no idea how I was going to make that happen, let alone find a way to support myself and pay my bills. As someone who is very pragmatic, that was something that mattered to me. My aunt mentioned this metaphysical school that she knew about in Georgia in the Blue Ridge Mountains called Delphi University. I looked at their website and everything in me knew that my next step was figuring out how to get there.

A few months later, in the spring of 2008, some of the most traumatic moments of my life would unfold. Although that was a very traumatic year for me and my family, through all of the chaos, I managed to apply to Delphi University, get accepted and figure out how I would be able to pay for it.

Valentine’s Day of 2009 was my first day at Delphi, two months after my uncle had committed suicide. This was the same uncle that raised me as a teenager and was a huge catalyst to me discovering my spiritual path.

Throughout 2009, I completed the Doctorate of Metaphysical Healing program that Delphi offers. This is a specialized curriculum for people wanting to pursue spiritual and metaphysical healing whether just for themselves or to teach others. I knew that I would be learning many different modalities that I could use in guiding others on their healing and transformation journeys. I did not realize that it would also become one of the deepest periods of healing for myself too. Every modality I learned to support others, I had to experience as the client as well. It was sort of like a healing bootcamp mixed with a modern day Hogwarts. Delphi is a sacred mystery school that changed my life and equipped me with the tools to help others along their healing and transformation journeys.

Once I got back to Kansas City at the end of 2009, I began seeing clients. The first few years it was only part-time while I also worked at restaurants to pay the bills. As I continued to build my healing practice, I eventually was able to quit the restaurant jobs and go full-time in my work as a healer in 2014.

Over the years, my healing work has evolved and transformed in some of the most magical ways and I know it will continue to as I move forward into the future.

Helping others find their way in life inspires me more than anything. As someone who found their courage to face life, the pain and the joy, I know the value of having guides and healers help us along the way.

I am a true testament that we can rise above our pain and build a magical life of purpose, inspiration and Love. I used to think that my work as a healer began at the end of 2009, after graduating from Delphi. I now know that it began the day I was born in 1987. Going through my own journey of pain and the healing of it, gave me a greater level of compassion and empathy for others on their journey.

My journey has taught me that healing, and all else we are seeking, is possible when we keep going and do not give up. That does not mean it will be easy. Trying to do it alone will make it even more difficult. For me, having all of the moments with healers that I did, whittled away at my pain, bit by bit, bringing me back to my core, the part of me where my courage and belief in self had been buried for so long.

I will forever be grateful for saying yes to myself on the day that my grandmother asked me about moving to Kansas City. That was a pivotal and defining moment in my life. Having a grandmother who was willing to put my needs above her own desire to have me stay with her saved me in so many ways.

Ultimately, I know what saved my life was my willingness to say yes to myself instead of allowing my fear of the unknown to stop me. 

I will forever be grateful for the healing work I do with others. It is a high honor to have so many people trust me with the most tender and vulnerable parts of them.

May we all find our way on the journey of healing and self-discovery.

I am honored to be your guide.